don't blow

museum of jurassic technology


mr. pants

We're for real muthafuckah!




Friday, March 17, 2000
SPRING BREAK 2-0-0-0!!!!!

Isn't it horrible that I just got in an updating streak and then stopped and now it is time for 2 weeks straight of Fun in the Sun Spring Break 2000? I'll be hittin all of the hot spots like: Chicago, Illinois! Oak Park, Illinois! Gary, Indiana! Valparaiso, Indiana! It will be exciting as heck. And I won't be able to update this for two whole weeks. But come April 3, I'll be here for you!!! SO please don't forget about me! Pleeeeeeeeease.....heeelp
In other news, here's a shout out to lowquality pitas who were actually nice enough to call me a mediocre weblog and not a horrifically horrible piece of trash! (Even though that is what my mammy calls me every night!) For a pitas so rarely updated, that is pretty good, eh? And besides, mediocre is the middle, akin to middlebrow and the middle class! I am the middle class of weblogs! The middle class is the heart of America! I am the heart of America!!! Now look at this.
Finally, I would like to point out that no one has yet located my hidden link on this page. Well, hidden as much as hidden can be on a page where EVERYTHING HIGHLITED IN RED IS A LINK, FOLKZ! So since I find it special, here is a blatent plug for it.

Monday, March 13, 2000
Sam Sloan's Home Page

Oh, my dear don't blow, how many ways do I love thee? So many many. First you intoxicate me with your intoxicating blend of perversity and humor, then you provide me with an alibi when someone else uses my computer and notices the obsene webpages appearing in the location bar (ie, "Oh, Uhh...I must have looked at that through don't blow!"). And now you have helped me to find the webpage of this man! ohhhhhh! Don't blow, will you marry me?

Monday, March 13, 2000
Dear Kate, harassment is illegal.

I was rooting through my old geocities webpage directory and found a bunch of stuff that had accumulated over the years. I must have made the first webpage in '95 dammit!!! ANyway, I thought this page about harassment was pretty funny. I am not sure but I think it makes me look like a complete and total dork, maybe by the sheer number of times I use the word dork and complain about "being different". Ugh. I also found this and this, which are both mildly bizarre (a big hooray to dorm life!), and also this, an old old picture of me and my hunky self. And finally, this, which I did not make, but I love dearly.

Thursday, March 9, 2000

I bet you forgot that Corey Haim ever existed! Well he is still present on this planet Earth and he is making the same godawful movies we loved him for! Well, actually I didn't love him for them. Love never poured from my bloody heart towards that young sassy Corey. I always thought he looked like a complete a-hole. And oh look, my suspicions were completely confirmed!

Thursday, March 9, 2000
How feminist art took a turn for the worse.

"Hello! Would you like to come to this little dinner party I'm having? Only the most distinguished female guests will be there. The goal of this party, which is a symbolic history of women in Western civilization, is two-fold: to teach women's history through a meal that can convey the long struggle for freedom and justice that women have waged since the advent of male-dominated societies, and to break the cycle of male-dominated history. Oh and did I mention you get to eat off of humungous vulvas?"

Tuesday, March 7, 2000
Obese Pets.

I decided to change my design once again. I forgot the main principle of bulgy pitas: a clean freakin design!! Uggh. Even though I was delighted by all those cute little piggy pictures, it just couldn't be. It was way too ugly. (I think you can still check it out here, if you feel you must.) I do like the bulgy animals theme, tho. I found this site while searching for pictures of obese cats. It has my hero, Richard Simmons, as the star!!! Hooray!! Also, this is pretty funny (sadly, foreigners will always be funny to me), but this is the funniest ever! That big ol guinea pig is gonna bite his head off!!!

Friday, March 3, 2000

Don't even ask about the re-design. There was an Onion article I was going to link up in honor of this new era of Bulgy, but I discovered they had not archived it...booooo. So instead tonight is a guest entry by someone who used my computer today. I discovered it in my page history, and now I must find who it was...hmm....maybe it was my alter-ego, and I will meet her on a plane in a few weeks and we will make soap together and be the best of friends!! But anyway, as with a few of my links, mature audiences only. This is a forum about microphilia. I have become a horrible, horrible porn linker.

Hay, give me some hay.